Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
