I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
