Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
