dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
