Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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