oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worst night to have a conscience
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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