Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
