He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
