I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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