I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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