I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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