This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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