If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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