Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
