My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
