Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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