It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
