Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
