A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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