Whod you bang
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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