Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
