Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
