You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
