Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
