I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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