I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
