OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
