we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
