if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
