So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
