Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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