Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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