so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
