Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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