Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
