I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
