Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
