Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
