Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
