You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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