I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
