You made me cry and you don't even care
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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