My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I skipped work to stalk him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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