Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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