I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
