I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
