Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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