I hope mine doesn't look like that
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
