He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
