i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
