It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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