We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pooping to opera.
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