Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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